My mom just told me she was giving up on me.
She couldn’t deal with the mood swings. Or the cutting. Or my stupid attitude.
I don’t blame her. No one will stay beside someone like me. I do nothing but ruin people’s lives. I ruin happiness. The house would be a lot better place if only I would disappear.
I wish I could die.
I’m ashamed to say I have tiny fresh cuts all over my body.
I’m giving up too.
I’m sorry.
This is absolutely terrifying. Just look at it, it is so real and astonishing. You need to reblog this. I don’t care if you’re used to reblogging orange, teenage girls with vans on. I don’t care if you’re used to reblogging vintage or photography. This is real. You can even see the fury in his eyes. The tense muscles in between his fingers. The heavy breathing.
Guys, please don’t send hate. You’re hurting people and please just stop. It’s not worth it. Why do you want to hurt them? What can you gain from hurting them? Just stop and think a bit, if you don’t like them; keep it to yourself. No one deserves to feel like this- the feeling of having the pressure built down on you. Please stop sending hate
this is sad and scary to think about.
oh shit, yesterday this only had a couple of notes. ill always reblog this
This is what you cowards do to people when you send hate. It’s not a joke and you do it to get a laugh, to make you feel better about yourself, when in reality you are destroying someone else. Hate in any form needs to stop.
forever reblog, i am crying.
everyone needs to reblog this
I’m sorry, but why people bully others i will NEVER understand. Bastards. Reblogged.
What part of your body is most affected by it?
I know I started out on my hips and legs and stomach. But the parts of my body that are most affected is my wrists. I tend to cut my wrists more now because the pain affects me more now.
Except now my wrists are permanently swollen and red. My arms are so grotesque, I can’t wear short sleeves anymore.
Today, I threw away my razor.
It was the most liberating thing I’ve ever done so far.
I’m ready to move on.
How long have you been self-harming? Discuss why you started.
Self-mutilation started…. around when I was 12. In the middle of 7th grade. It was very scattered when I did it in middle school. It wasn’t until high school that I started doing it regularly.
I started because I felt like nothing. It was 7th grade and in order to be ‘liked’ or to have a lot of friends, I tried to fit in. But I didn’t feel like myself. I tried to have a hot body, and starved myself. I wanted to bad to be liked. And I was. But I wasn’t liked for myself. I was fake. I was so empty and lost that I turned to cutting.
This was during a time where everyone started cutting. It was a ‘big thing’. You were considered deep and I think everyone had a certain cry for help. But when I started, I didn’t start on my wrists like everyone else did. I started on my hips. No one would ever see them. It then moved to my stomach. I was so ashamed that I started cutting, I didn’t want the world to see it.
Soon, I wasn’t good enough. I felt numb and blank. I started cutting so I could feel something. Anything but this emptiness. The pain was good, it reminded me I was alive. That’s why I kept cutting.
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
3. What is your motivation to recover?
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?
6. What about it do you…
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this.
This blog is supposed to show you that even though I am just one girl, my problems are not my own. I know I’m not the only one feeling like this. I know many of you struggle with the same problems I do. Many of you may not realize this, but there are more of you than you think.
When things seem helpless, and no one seems to care, I promise I’m always here. You don’t have to go through this alone. Your problems are not minuscule. No matter what anybody tells you, you do matter.
You can talk to me about anything. I swear, I will not judge. I will accept you as you are. You don’t have to talk to me, but just know that I will always be here. Night, day, whenever. Because, you are worth it.
Because I know how it feels when you feel like you are the only one in the world feeling like this. I know how it feels like to be so lost and in the dark. I know how it feels like to have the world’s weight on your shoulders. Knowing that so many people feel like this, makes me feel even more lost.
If you ever feel like no one will care or understand, talk to me. I might not be able to understand exactly what you are going through, but I know that I will try my hardest. I know that I will care and accept. I want to help carry your burden, because no one deserves to be alone.
Beauty doesn’t change. People’s perceptions of beauty change.
People don’t simply decide to hate their bodies. We teach them to.
I have extremely low self-esteem. Every day, when I wake up, I spend 50% my time in front of a mirror. First, I stand naked and criticize my body. It’s always the same things I say.
“Get rid of those thunder thighs”
“You’re looking fat today. No breakfast. Skip lunch. Run 10 miles”
“Come on, Pudgy, love handles aren’t sexy”
“Why can’t I just be beautiful?”
“Too much acne, such a pizza face”
“Why am I so ugly?”
“Short hair isn’t pretty”
“My nose looks like a mushroom”
“Pores are huge!”
“Slim down your face”
The other 50% of my time is spent in my closet and bathroom. Trying to make me look perfect. I try to erase all of my imperfections. I try to look skinny. I try to look ‘pretty’.
The sad thing is, I’m not the only girl that goes through this. I’m not the only person who faces struggles like these. I know for a fact that at least 90% of all the girls go through this in my school. This makes me cry.
Why? Why do I feel the need to say such destructive things to myself? When did I start feeling like this? There was a time when I didn’t care what I looked like. I never wore any makeup, never cared about the clothes I wore, never hesitated to speak my mind.
But then suddenly, I started to wear tons and tons of makeup. I suddenly was obsessed with the latest fashions, trying to look like everyone else. And, I began to close myself out to the world.
What I do to myself is disgusting. Ladies (And gentlemen), it is not healthy what we do to ourselves. It’s not healthy thinking all the time about how we’re not good enough. It’s just not right what we do to be ‘perfect’. It’s frightening, to be honest. It’s so scary what our words can do.
It’s so sad, because I do all of this just to feel pretty. But I don’t. I don’t feel happy with myself. I just feel empty. No matter what I do, I just can’t feel beautiful anymore. I’m not even trying to look pretty for people. I just want to feel beautiful, just once.
I used to say “I think every girl is beautiful”. I used to really believe that was true. But now I realize how hypocritical that was. I now know what I really meant. I meant “I think every girl, except me, is beautiful”.
You’re not ugly, society is.
